If you knew me while I was at Southwestern, you would know that I was an excellent peer review for papers and such. I have a good eye for grammar and though I didn't necessarily know all the rules, I knew when things were wrong. Well, now I know the rules.
Grammar has infiltrated my mind!!
Whenever I am writing, talking to others, or even talking to myself in my head, I am constantly aware of and analyzing the grammar being used. Part of that is because I need to be aware of what to refine in my students' use of English, but it's mostly just me because my roommates do not experience this same phenomenon.
Now, when you learn the grammar of a foreign language, there are two parts you must learn: structure and reason for usage. It is this second part that has mostly infiltrated my thoughts.
I can almost pinpoint when I recognized the successful campaign of the grammar invasion: it was this past winter on one of my commutes. I had started listening to Laura Story's music on the majority of my bus rides, and one day as I was walking up the giant hill to my adopted family's apartment, one song stuck out to me because of the grammar of the chorus.
The very beginning of the chorus in her song "Great God who Saves" says:
I would have despaired
If I had not believed
That You would come to me,
Great God who saves.
Immediately my thoughts said, "That's third conditional! That is such a powerful statement!"
Third Conditional is this: If + past perfect + would/could/might + have + past participle. You use it when you want to talk about possible events in the past that didn't happen. For example, if I had driven more carefully, I would not have rear ended that car, meaning I wasn't driving carefully so I rear ended the car in front of me. (True story from my sophomore year of college...)
Anyway, grammar lesson completed, the message behind those lines of the chorus just seemed like genius to me! If I hadn't believed in God and that He would save me in whatever circumstances I had been facing, I would have despaired...maybe entered a depression, maybe walked away from Him, maybe blamed Him...
As I look back on the past few months of really struggling through trusting that the Father has already paved the path He wants me to follow and will reveal it in His good timing, through struggling with distractions and focus and peace, through stress, I realize how amazing the truth of this song is! In the past few months, if I hadn't been trusting Father and been believing that He would save me and guide me...I don't even want to think about where I could have ended up if I didn't believe in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Praise God that He is the great God who saves!! :-)
What spurred this blog post was my quiet time this morning: Psalm 27. I got to verse 13 and read:
"I would have despaired if I had not believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD."
I cannot tell you how big of a smile spread across my face! Ah! Even now as I write this, I have goosebumps, tears, and a smile.
As I prepare to return to Kars next week, I am waiting to see the goodness of the LORD in this, in His plan, and in His revealing it to me. I would be despairing right now if I didn't believe I would see His goodness.
I'm looking forward to seeing His goodness, trusting Him to reveal it in His good timing. Right now, I am just enjoying looking at the bookends to the past few months with the song and now this verse. God's got my back. He's watching over me. Why do I have any need to stress or worry? I don't. :-)
As I get ready to dive into my day and the gigantic to-do list I have waiting for me, I look forward to more grammar invasions bringing light to biblical truths in my life.
I pray today that God invades your life and heart in a way that draws you closer to Him. For me, it's grammar. What will it be for you?
You done good Christina.
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